"Oh come let us ignore Him"

Wouldn't it be great if Christmas was nothing but love, peace, joy and giving? Wasn't that the original intent of Jesus' birth? Or did God become flesh so we could experience stroke level anxiety and financial collapse? Sorry for that little bit of sarcasm. This post today is not an indictment on all the traditions and holiday activities we've grown to love and embrace. It is just meant to raise awareness of the pitfalls of stress and anxiety that we can fall into during this season of celebration.

I was thinking of what some of the joy stealing stressors of Christmas are. Here are the top ones I came up with:

1. Time crunch: I know for the Frank family this is a big one. Our lives revolve around our church and let's face it, this is like the "play offs" for Christianity, to borrow a sports analogy. Our time is eaten up with Parties, and pageants, and extra services. Plus, we have decorating, shopping, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, and travel. This year we added attending a piano recital and a neighborhood cookie swap to the mix. All of these activities are good and proper, but they eat up our time.

2. Leaking Money: This can be huge one for all of us. We want to be generous. We want our gift giving to be an expression of love and appreciation. We don't want to leave anyone out or fail to give exactly what someone was hoping for. The cost of "Christmas" is sky-rocketing. Adding up the money spent of decor, gifts, tips, offerings, food, travel, and charitable giving is enough to cause a heart attack even if you do have the money to spend. But worse, is knowing you don't have it. Added debt or showing up empty handed this year are even worse.

3. Difficult Family Dynamics: We all have difficult relatives that require us to demonstrate great self control. Every family has a "pot-stirrer" or two. Divorces, geographical separation, tight living quarters, too long visits, and cultural/political/ lifestyle/religious differences can compound the stress. Even just a lack of privacy can be tough. Also it can be difficult to manage expectations of children and adults. No one wants to disappoint someone.

4. Fear of Inadequacy: If you are competitive, insecure, or a perfectionist the holidays can be enough to drive you mad. There is always someone who is richer, prettier, a better cook, has a more fabulous house, bigger budget, more thoughtful husband...ect. Its easy to get caught up in comparing and coveting. This can turn Christmas into a tournament instead of a respite.

5. Health Killer: Party after party, dessert after dessert, we make really bad choices over the holidays that cripple our ability to lead a healthy lifestyle. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't skipping the workouts to do our shopping. But we seriously underestimate the physical costs of the holiday season until we step on the scales on New Year's day and want to jump off something tall. And just knowing that yet again this year, my willpower will fail and I will be even worse off then ever, makes me stressed.

So what's the solution? We could all just skip it this year...or we could try to turn up the sanily quotient with a few little tips:

1. Set a budget for your time. Factor in prep time, ask for help. Schedule downtime and family and alone time. Take advantage of timesavers such as ordering some of your baking from a bakery or using a charity gift wrapping service. Don't be afraid to say no to some invitations. Shop online, the ship for free over the holidays and will often wrap things for you too. Keep the decorating manageable. Remember it all will have to come down later.

2. Set a budget for your spending and stick to it. Choose homemade gifts. Explain the limits to your kids. Try just a nice card for some of your list and exchange names if your family is large. Leave room in your budget for charitable giving too. Collect stocking stuffers all year when things are on sale. Use coupons. Remember that grocery expenses add up fast too. Be frugal there as well.

3. Pray sincerely for grace to respond to difficult people humbly and and with love. Keep your walk with Jesus fresh, vibrant and centered on the gift of salvation. Plan to put up an undivided front between you and your husband. Keep home visits short and leave room for private times apart. Make your preferences clear and avoid controversial situations and conversations. Plan ahead and have an exit strategy. Try to limit your kid's exposure to marketing on TV or print that causes them to have unrealistic ideas about what they will be receiving.

4. Resists the urge to compare yourself to others. Ask God to teach you gratitude and contentment. Count your blessings and express thoughtfulness to others. Serve with humility not pride. Let it go. Don't expect perfection from others or yourself. Do your best and accept that as enough. If not you'll make yourself and those around you miserable.

5. Ask yourself if what you are about to eat is worth it. If yes, allow yourself a splurge and add a few minutes to your afternoon walk. The key is to not just throw off all constraint just because it is the holidays. Don't skip the gym or the trail or whatever your exercise routine is. Taking care of yourself will keep you from getting sick or gaining weight. I have found that doing some squats, lunges, sit-ups, push-ups and stretches is a great way to pass the commercial breaks during my favorite Christmas shows. And, if the temps ever get above freezing, a walk is a great stress relief. And, I'm trying to limit my treat consumption to one a day.

I hate the idea of the greatest event in history becoming a pain in the neck to me or anyone else. I hate that celebrating Jesus' birth could become a chore or a stress. I'm hoping that being aware of the dangers we can plan ahead and make this Christmas be the most spiritual and life-changing event of the year. Remember...It's not "Oh come let us ignore Him" it's "Oh come let us ADORE HIM, Christ the Lord." If we get that right, Christmas will be stress free.

6 Comments

Great perspective, Lori! We all need this reminder...it's so easy to let it get out of control!

Posted by: Susanna | 12/15/2010 at 10:34 AM

Excellent, excellent reminders. I know about the pressures of being in ministry at this time of year and hope you are able to heed your own advice and relax. I have a feeling that you do a great job at this yourself. Great blog post!

Posted by: Martha Vaughan | 12/15/2010 at 10:52 AM

Well said! Now off to a "Happy Birthday, Jesus" party to adore Him. (I'm skipping the cupcake!)

Posted by: Nancy Brewer | 12/15/2010 at 03:18 PM