Night-Night Needed

     A  few days ago I found myself sneaking into my sleeping 19 year- old's room just to make sure he was ok.  It was after 1 o'clock in the afternoon.  He was sleeping so soundly, unaware of all the activity in the house around him.  Even at this age, growing boys need sleep.  Apparently that last week of final exams at college was exhausting.  He came home bearing a garbage sack full of putrid smelling laundry and an appetite for some good home cooking.  And, evidently, a need for about 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  

     Did you know that there is an epidemic of sleep deprivation among kids today?  This condition is contributing to factors such as bad grades, poor behavior, emotional instability, sickness, depression, stress, obesity and even accidents.  The American Academy of Pediatrics says that children ages 5-10 need 10-11 hours of sleep per night.  The average child of that age in America gets 7.5 hours.  

     So I have been wondering why it is that kids are not getting to bed during the school year like they should be.  One big reason, I believe is that kids are very over scheduled.  I can remember my own little-leaguer yawning dreamily on second base during a 9pm game.  No big deal, it's summer.  But what about those stand out athletes that travel year round to compete in their sport of choice or dance in competitions or cheer?  I understand that most of these are seasonal and allowances can be made.  But it bears watching.  Also, mothers tell me that by the time they leave work and pick up the kids at daycare, fix dinner, do the homework, and spend a little time as a family, it is 10 or 10:30.  

     But the worst situation of all and most avoidable is the lack of parental oversight and backbone to actually tell the kids to get ready for bed and to consistently ensure that the child goes to sleep on time.  We all know that the natural response of a tired kid is to resist, and insist that they are not the least bit sleepy.  It is the job of Mom and Dad to create a routine of what we called "The 3B's", bath, Bible and bed.   Our routine consisted of a soothing bath ( usually turned brown from bayou dirt), and a family devotion and prayer time in one or the other of the boy's rooms, and a lights out.  Our policy was NO getting up, calling out for water, or sneaking toys or books in.  (We made sure hydration and bathroom needs were taken care of in advance).  We enforced swift and undesirable consequences when stall tactics were attempted.  It's amazing how a kid who has no choice but to lay still in a dark room with a full belly, clean body,  and a heart full of love can fail to resist the sandman night after night.    As they grew, we let them begin to do their own devotional time alone with God.  The 3B's still exist, they just got more independent.  =)

     One area where we can be a little more flexible is with once a week church activities.  We don't need to be hyper-stuck on our schedule.  If there is an edifying church program we think our kids could benefit from, go for it.  You can always move bedtime up 30 minutes the next night.  

     When our kids were in elementary school we found that Bruce's job was keeping him out many nights a week for meetings.   Several mornings a week, he was gone when the boys got up and did not get home until they were already asleep.  They would go several days without even seeing Dad.  I hated choosing between adequate sleep and time with Dad.  So we decided to homeschool for a few years.  This allowed us to stay up and spend time with Dad wrestling and playing and still sleep in.  Starting school later and, at times, in our jammies, really loosened  up our schedule and brought our family much closer.  Each family should do their own evaluation of how bedtime is going at their house and choose a plan that works for their lifestyle.  Each child has different needs even within families.  Parents know best what their child can handle.  But and added perk to a consistent bedtime is that Mom and Dad can have time to spend alone.  =)  

     Life is hectic and I know that Mommies certainly don't need another thing to feel guilty or inadequate about.  But I know that our desire is to give our kids what they need in order to have every advantage in life.  Rest is one of those things.  It restores us and lets our minds and bodies heal and grow.  For the sake of their health, growth, stability, and intellect, put those kids to bed 10 hours before they need to be up and get some rest yourself.  

Psalm 127: 1-2
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved.”     

Comments

[Christin]

Love this post!! Judson worked 90+ hours when we lived in Asheville so I totally get the not seeing Dad even when they are under the same roof...we decided (with her being not in school) to let her sleep late in the mornings and stay up late at night so she could see dad....now that school is approaching we are finding it a HARD habit to break...thanks for this post!!

[Kandis]

Heading right now to put my 2 little boys in the bathtub! I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I love the 3Bs. All of your parenting advice has been such a blessing! Thank you!