Sweet tea by Lori Frank

"Gibbs' Rules" for Ministry Folks

     I currently have 12 episodes of NCIS on my DVR awaiting the cozy nights of winter with my hubby by the fire.  That's a lot of naval crime fighting!  I love that show because they always get the bad guy, of course.  But I also love the characters with all their flaws and idiosyncrasies.  One other thing I love about this show is the way the crusty older marine (Gibbs) mentors his young but talented team.  He cares about keeping them alive, and he cares about teaching them what he knows so they can accomplish something bigger than themselves.  He can be cantankerous and blunt.  He has lived through a lot of pain.  He is not perfect.  But He's learned a few lessons in life and has composed a list of rules to live by for his team. 

I'm not Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but I do have a code to live by.  It is to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and to love my neighbor as myself.  This is as it should be for any Christ follower.  But for those of us in ministry, the bar is even higher.  If I could sit down with anyone young in the ministry and give them a short list of "rules" for success and maximum impact in ministry it would be these:

1.  It's got to be real.  Above all, keep your walk with Jesus intimate and current.  Never try to export what is not authentic in your own life.  If you are faking it, you will burn out.  Nothing is more exhausting than trying to create spiritual fruit in the power of the flesh.  Neglecting spiritual discipline is the first step to hypocrisy.  Feed yourself first or you will be a victim of spiritual warefare.

2.  When one of us is bad-mouthed, we all lose.  As a leader you never have the right to criticize another member of the leadership team.  No matter how hurt, frustrated, or angry you are you are obligated to take your concerns behind closed doors.  You have sacrificed your right to "vent".  Loyalty among leadership has got to be unquestionable.  Resolve conflict between the concerned parties only.  Otherwise it devalues the ones we are here to serve, kind of like how it hurts the child when a parent runs the other one down in front of him.  

3.  Expect to work from another plane of ability.  Ministry life is not for sissies.  Supernatural resilience and sustenance is required.  You need to stop trying to have a "normal" life.  The schedule and routine of a ministry family is drasticly different from others.  Accepting that and adjusting your lifestyle to accommodate the demands is the only way to stay sane.  The wife's job is to be the shock absorber.  Jesus never complained about the demands on Him.  He adjusted, He endured, and He overcame.  That power is available to you and your children in a supernatural way.  But resentment and self-pity will stop the flow.

4.  You've got to be lovable.  Success in ministry is hindered when there is no emotional bond between the leaders and the flock.  No matter how hard you work for a church or how good you are at your job, it's what you make them feel that makes them love you.  Show up at fellowships.  Be vulnerable.  Mingle, make friends.   Make eye contact and use meaningful touch.  Crack jokes, be fun.  Listen, and ask questions.  Be accessible through social media.  Be willing to do the dirty jobs with them.  Go to ballgames, hospital rooms and deathbeds.  People matter.  Yes, have your boundaries.  But remembering names and having concern for the individual will do wonders to open hearts to your leadership, insulate you from criticism, and create a devoted group of care-givers when your family is in need.  You will never lack for helpers, baby sitters, good food or a fan club if you do this.

5.  You're called to be last, not first.  So many young leaders have a sense of entitlement.  In their zeal they think they can do it better than the last generation.  They think their ideas are the answer to the church's needs.  They think they will plant a church and it will be a mega-church in a year.  They think they should have ministry success handed to them because they are talented and educated.  Actually, ministry is messy.  It's grueling.  Great men and women of God have served faithfully in obscurity for a lifetime and never produced a mega- church, made a big salary or made anyone remember their names.  If you want to change the world, change  a life.  Be ready to be disrespected, misunderstood, inconvenienced, overwhelmed with need, ill-equipped, under appreciated, under paid, and over-worked.  You'll be in good company though.  And if you finish strong, and lay down your rights,  you'll be rewarded with a legacy of souls and treasure in Heaven.  

Twelve men were called to be on the front lines of Kingdom activities.  The original disciples.  They counted the cost and paid a very dear price.  But they completed the task of launching the Gospel.  We who are honored to join that cause get the privilege to invest in God's work with unhindered focus.  We and our families walk in special grace to meet these demands.  If you are a wife of a pastor and you follow these rules, you will be a credit to your husband and a helpmate in his work.  Trust God to protect you and your kids.  Relax into the fast pace of ministry and your kids will come to love the exhilaration of ministry life.  If you fight it, they will resent it.  Trust your husband to lead and give him the freedom to soar.  

Hebrews 6:9-12 says,  "⁹ Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are convinced of better things in your case—the things that have to do with salvation. ¹⁰ God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. ¹¹ We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. ¹² We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."  Be encouraged today, He will not forget your work... One of God's rules is that there will be a harvest.  Let's sow for a good one.  

Certain Conditions Apply

Romans 8:28  " And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

This verse is a great and precious promise from God's heart of love.  It is one that I have clung to through the years and claimed as my own.  And yet I was reminded Sunday that it is not a blanket promise for everyone or even every believer to claim.  There are terms and conditions that apply. 

God offers to make all things, even the bad ones, work in cooperation with His plan for our lives and to even turn them out for our benefit.  But only if certain criteria are met.  We often claim this verse but neglect to check ourselves to be certain we are doing our part.  Like those disclaimers attached to special offers on TV,  the truth is in the "fine print".

Part one:  We are to love God.  Jesus, in John 14:15 states "If you love me, keep my commandments".  We cannot claim the promise of all things working for our good if we neglect obedience.  That means doing all we have been told to do, when we are told to do it , with the right heart attitude.  And to stop doing what we have been told  not to do. This is all an outward expression of surrender which occurs in the heart.  It's based on the natural response to the grace of God expressed on the cross and the work of the Spirit on our inner man.  

Part two:  We are called according to His purposes.  We are to participate in the calling of God's purposes on our lives.  His initial purpose in our life is stated in the verse right after this one: to be conformed to the image of Jesus.  Then, as we grow like Him our lives become a masterpiece and we begin to complete the good works preordained for us in His Kingdom.  (Eph 2:10) Those who show up each week at church and then leave not to participate in ministry or service have no right to claim that God would work circumstances for their good.  This is a blessing reserved for Christ's teammates.  It's not given for the takers, but the givers.

That's the fail-safe attached to those who are willing cooperatives with the transformation known as sanctification.  And it's the risk-free guarantee that even the least of the bondservants in the Kingdom of God are protected by the shelter of His will in the long run.  So pour out your life.  Empty yourself on the altar of service.  Commit your way to The Way.  Build His Kingdom financially and missionally.  He will never fail you and it will all work together for your good.  And that's a promise!  

Ministry wives: What not to say to a lay-person

    I am an advocate for transparency in ministry.  I don't believe in faking it.  I want to be real with our congregation.  But I have learned that to love the flock best, I must sensor myself.  

    Over a lifetime of being a child of ministry parents and now a ministry wife I've learned, at times by mistakes, that there are things that are counter productive to share.  I happen to serve a church whose staff wives are very mature in this.  But we all can need encouragement in this area.  I'm writing today in hopes of exhorting wives in ministry to edit and season their speech with careful consideration.  

Here are few things that can be hurtful, misunderstood, or rude:

Never criticize another pastor or his family, most especially one from your church:  To a lay person, hearing this feels like when a parent talks bad about the other parent, to their child.  It devalues the child.  Ministry wives need to present an indivisible front.  Take your issues up with each other in person or let it go.  If blame is being given, don't throw your coworker under the bus.  Deflect the heat for them.

Don't share confidential information or personnel issues.  Unfortunately, we know things we wish we didn't know.  You don't get the privilege of being able to ventilate about it.  Lay it out before the Lord in prayer.  This will help emotions dissipate in a healthy and un-hurtful way.  

Avoid pointing out your money woes.  I grieve over the shepherds, of smaller churches especially, who work so hard for so little.  This also can go for the junior level staff members of larger churches.  The fact is you are never paid what you're worth.  Your true reward is in heaven.  Yet, we must remember that it was lay families that sacrificed and gave their offerings to God who made your salary possible in the first place.  Complaining that it is not sufficient just makes them feel inadequate.  Plus, times are hard for most people right now in this economy.  This is never the proper channel to garner changes in your pay structure or curry sympathy.  

Curb your desire to share how exhausted you are.  The fact is that ministry is draining in a way that a lay person can never truly understand.  From their perspective, they are working hard too, and are at church on their only day off as a volunteer.  Everyone is working hard, not just us.  They don't want to hear that serving them has left you tired or that you have been up since 5am  preparing for a marathon day.  They don't need to hear about how hard it is to be a pastor's wife.  Loving church members will notice your sacrifice all on their own.  To them your complaining feels like receiving a gift and then hearing the giver complain about how expensive it was.  

Don't forget who the customer is.  My husband told me a story about trying to get a seat on a packed flight on an exit row.  He prefers these seats because of his lanky 6'3" frame.  He was told by an employee with a bad attitude that his request was impossible because the seats were taken.  On his way to the back of the plane he walked past both exit rows with the seats filled by airline employees in uniform with their legs outstretched in comfort, flying free.  This reflects a culture of entitlement.  It is indicative of an attitude from the top down that they don't exist to serve the consumer but to take whatever they can, serving their own agenda.  A Church culture should never be like that.  A life of ministry is not about anything other than pouring out oneself for the good of another.  It's about putting others first and letting God fight your battles.

Philippians 2 is a great passage of scripture that reminds us the humble and sacrificial attitude Jesus displayed as he ministered.  It is an unspeakable privilege to walk in His footsteps and serve His bride.  We are reminded how He "emptied Himself and took on the form of a bond-servant".  We are instructed to let this same attitude be in us.  And by His grace we can, because He is equipping us with everything we need for life and godliness.   The greater your leadership responsibility, the greater your call to sacrifice.  I pray each ministry wife who reads this knows it comes from a heart of love and life of learning through failure at times.  I also pray you will all find the highest joy and deepest delight in serving your husband's flock.  Be refreshed in your spirit today at His feet.  I know Mondays are hard.  I'm praying for you.  

 

The Miracle of Just Enough

    This week I have been studying and teaching on I Kings 17.  Once again I am stunned and awed at the timelessness and vastness of God's word.  This ancient account of the rugged prophet from Tishbe's entrance into the lives of the inhabitants of Israel and the Ahab's kingdom is applicable today, even down to the last detail.  

    The issues of our day such as rampant apostacy, idolatry, immorality and the devaluation of children are paralelled in this passage.  Elijah discerned his culture and heard from God, a message was received.  He was anointed with the task of calling his people to repent.  He was led to pray according to God's word that it would not rain.  He did and drought insued.  He was brought to Cherith to be fed by ravens and to drink from a brook.  It was a place of protection, preparation, and provision.  

    Then the brook dried up... and a new instruction was recieved.  He was to go to Zerapheth, Queen Jezebel's home town, and be cared for by a widow.  I noticed that God did not leave his faithful prophet separate and safe in his nook by the brook.  He sent him out into his culture to begin a loving relationship at ground zero of the pagan world.  He must have arrived thirsty and looking eagerly about in faith.  

    Could it have been that he was slightly disappointed to find this harried, starving widow with a sharp tongue and a fatalistic attitude?  Could he have thought, perhaps, God had flubbed the handoff?  Well, it appears no such thoughts kept him down or dejected for more than a moment.  Instead he proclaims a profound offer:  Risk taking a step of faith and trust that my testimony about God is true.  He will not disappoint you.  You'll see.  He will provide.  And she did risk it, even as she reminded herself she really had little to lose.  The flour and the oil that never ran out... oh the bread and the annointing salve.  The primative proof that Jehovah is the One True God was never so real and tangible as this loaf in this hard luck woman's hand.  

    Of course the real miracle here is that the God of the universe would stoop to woo a faithless and unfaithful bunch of people back to Himself, not that the supplies never ran out.  Yet, The Spirit whispered to me as I pondered, asking, "Could you be won back to my side with just enough?".  You notice that the flour bin still just had flour, not filet mignon.  The oil was just oil not caviar.  My answer is that I reckon I could be won if I was convinced I was at the bottom of my flour barrel... Then just enough is all I need.  

    I'm spoiled.  I know.  There is so much plenty in my life, even in these times we live in.  There is so much to put in the place of honor in my life.  Idolatry is a constant trap.  There is such sweet refreshing fellowship with christain sisters all around me.  It's easier to linger by the brook than to stumble into my culture and engage it with the "Good News".  I'm afraid I tend to too readily see the miracle in the Holy Food, even if it's not brought in via birds.  But too seldom see the miracle in finding all I need provided as I engage someone like the desperate single mom in our scripture.  This is the miracle of "just enough".  God can use spartan conditions to show us how utterly we depend on His grace for every breath we take.  He can often teach us more in lean times than He can in times of plenty.  

I've never been fed by ravens.  My flour and my oil run dry.  The water I drink comes from plastic bottles and I've never called fire from the sky.  But just as amazing is the change in me, the new life that Jesus can give.  I want to share the hope that is in me with my culture.  Lord, show is where our need is.  And let us revel in the fact that the miracle of "Just Enough" is a miracle nontheless.  

Screensaver Moment

  

     When I look back on roughly 23 years of ministry life with my Pastor/Hubby, I have a handful of moments that are locked into the screensaver of my mind.  These are the moments that I say to myself, "Please don't ever forget this.  This is what your life is about.  This is why you are here."  These moments are up there with the first time I held my babies and when my big tall man slipped a ring on my finger.   They are the ones that make my heart swell up and my eyes swim with tears of joy.  They take my breath... This weekend was one of them.  

     You've heard me say before that I often find myself in awe that God has chosen me for the job of serving Him in such a way.  Being the homemaker and helpmate for one of His greatest shepherds ever called, raising kids that will change their world for the gospel, and being a teacher and encourager for the women of such a great church are jobs I thought He would give to someone more poised and graceful.  They're jobs for someone more cautious and guarded, more serene and "holy".  You know.  I still feel like that awkward, snaggle-toothed, freckle face girl from Oklahoma, not sure how I ended up here and yet convinced that all the dear folks who poured into my life somehow expected it.   I have a sense of destiny, yet I'm baffled as to how I got chosen for such an important job.  This keeps me on my knees everyday for grace, and keeps me watchful for any weakness that could unravel in me and hurt so many.  

     Back to my cherished moment from this Easter Weekend.  I started Holy week with a really selfish  attitude of feeling sorry for myself.  I was whining inwardly that Easter is not a relaxing holiday for a pastor's family.  The pressure is intense.  The schedule is grueling.  There are no feasts, no time for family, no smiling photos with the bunny.  My Dad was a minister of music in a large Baptist church too, so this is all I've ever known.  I love it, thrive on it, pray for it, but sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a "normal" person's Easter.  =)

     We were well into the meat of the worship and celebration time in the third of four services.  I was on the platform singing and had a great view as all the precious people were still streaming in trying to find seats in a make-shift overflow area.  I had been told that cars were backed up for over a mile from the church entrance trying to get in.  It was at this moment that The Spirit touched my heart and blessed me with such an explosion of love and joy and gratitude that I though I might just fall apart right there.  You see, God's family had done what He asked.  They were bringing their friends family and co-workers to Jesus.  They were serious about shining the Light of the resurrection in this little city in the mountains.  Lives that have been saved were reaching out to bring others to the healing fountain.  I was like a proud mama!  God's people just get it.

     Our pastors, our staff, our volunteers had totally exhausted their resources both personally and professionally to make that day a forever impact on our community and were rewarded with fruit for eternity.  And, Christ was exalted and made famous.  And, the Good News was made known and received.  I heard today that our total attendance for the weekend was 9,154!  A record.  Just think about it, that is 10% of the population of Asheville on our church campus!!! 

     I am so amazed at what God is up to in our midst.  I look forward to the coming years as we continue to leverage our futures and our fortunes to make the Name of Jesus a penetrating force in this dark world.  I can't wait to see the East Campus begin its work soon.  I can't wait to watch our people grow in grace and kindness and let it impact their world.  You make me so proud...  Your picture is on my screensaver and your names are on my lips in prayer.  I love you, Biltmore Baptist,  I love you.

A Promise Kept

On May 13, 2009 I wrote a note on a page of my Bible.  I wrote that the verses I had just read, had been given to me as a promise to claim concerning our church, Biltmore Baptist.  The scripture was Isaiah 9:2-4a.  

"The people who walk in darkness will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them.  Thou shalt multiply the nation, thou shalt increase their gladness;  They will be glad in Your presence as with the gladness of harvest, as men rejoice in dividing the spoil.  For Thou shalt break the yoke of their burden and the staff on their shoulders. "

I ran across this passage today and was blown away as God revealed to me the ways He was answering that promise.  I keep reliving the past few services in our church in my mind.  I keep remembering the vision I had when I initially read these verses and how they've been fulfilled before my eyes.  I'm amazed.  

You see, I live in a city where darkness hovers.  I can sense it when I walk the streets.  Our town is a dichotomy of simple God-fearing mountain people and pseudo=spiritual seekers who deny the exclusivity of the gospel of Christ and His moral code.  But, I know that God is wanting to do a supernatural work of grace in our midst and to do so there must be a burst of light from our church that cannot be ignored.  And every week through this teaching series, I see evidence of that movement of God beginning in us as a church.  He is starting with us.  The focus is no longer on the superficial.  We are looking in the mirror.  We are able to admit and confess that WE need to change.  WE have things in our lives that are inconsistent with our confession of Christ.  And the winds of revival are blowing, as God's people repent and resolve to walk in integrity, get rid of our excuses, and come clean with our imperfections.  We are learning not to try to export a relationship with Christ that is not backed up by undeniable evidence of the life changing power of the resurrection.   

Our sense of celebration is evident in our worship too.  We are glad in His presence as those who rejoice in the harvest.  We are worshiping from the overflow of our week.  We are expressing our dependence on Him.  We are freely displaying our gratitude for the grace we've received.  The yoke of our burden of trying to live for Jesus in our own fleshly power is falling off.  We are focusing on relationship not religion, regeneration not resolve.  Our masks are off.  We are not "That big church on the hill" any longer.  We have become the light in our city, by shining in our subdivisions, and boardrooms and schools.  We are real, accessible, caring, and compassionate.  God has brought a brokenness and freedom that can be a platform for reaching those who are searching for lasting peace and hope.  

I'm so thankful for the leaders and pastors who have been so clear in their vision for our church.  I'm grateful for those who have led the way in earnest prayer, transparency, and sacrifice.  I'm moved with love by the precious believers and church members who are such a joy to lead.  The way they respond to teaching and step up to work and give and reach out is a rare and beautiful gift.  It is a crown for those who served this church before us.  We are reaping in their footsteps.  

We are rejoicing as men dividing up the prizes of war.  And we are in fact in a battle for our city.  But the hundreds of stories of life change and victory are more precious to me than gold.   The stories of marriages repaired, addictions shattered, relationships restored, and the hearts on fire again are evidence of God at work even more than our packed services and crowded parking lots.  

Let God receive all the glory and honor and praise!

This is just the beginning!  We are in the best seats in the house to see Him do "Immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine".  Don't miss it.  Here is one of our greatest stories of redemption and restoration, and the power of the gospel to change lives.  Every life has a story.  Our church won't rest until every story has a chance to end with Jesus as Lord.  And we're starting with ourselves... Here's my friend Jackie...

 

 

 

Laying An Egg

I'm currently inconsolable.

My friends tried to encourage me and comfort me at lunch and I smiled and thanked them but I can't be relieved.  You see, I teach a weekly Bible Study for women at my church.  God is blessing it and we've grown to 350+ in two Wednesday sessions now.  And today I stood up to teach a lesson  I was so excited about, one that I had spent tens of hours preparing and absorbing into my spirit.  It was a lesson that had radically effected my relationship with Jesus this week , life changing really.  I was prayed up, confessed up, filled up, and humbled down, overwhelmed with love for my Lord and ready to share what I'd learned.  I was about to bust!  Yet when I stood up and began teaching... everything I said fell flat off my lips.  Blank stares looked back at me.  Nothing connected.  I looked at my notes and it was as if I'd never seen them before.  I felt practically incoherent.

I had a running dialog with myself in my mind as I continued to speak.  I kept asking "what's wrong?"  "Why is this lesson that pierced my heart so profoundly thudding to the floor in front of my face?"  I felt so alone, so embarrassed and astonished that I even thought I could do this.  I actually started thinking about stopping and leaving, making up some excuse to use to get out of there.  Can we not just pop in a Beth Moore video here?  Are there no qualified professionals around who could take over here?  What an earth was I thinking?  I'm crashing here!

I'm so grieved.  I feel like I botched an opportunity to be a tool in God's hands.  I regret that I squandered such a precious, relevant, encouraging passage.  What a crime to make Jesus' "I AM the Bread of life"  statement boring, flat or dry!  I'm in agony.  How can I have failed these ladies like this.  They came. They brought their friends, put their kids in childcare expecting to get a word...something fresh, deep, applicable.  I failed them.  I'm not sure they'll ever come back!

My precious, best friend, husband, and gifted preacher told me just now that when you have any long term experience as a speaker or teacher , you have days like that.  "Everyone lays an egg occasionally".  "If that was your first one", he said, "baby you were due".  It's little comfort but it rings true.  And I love him for it...

With all my heart I'm seeking to make Him famous, fulfill my calling as a teacher, and love on the precious ladies He's given me.  As best I know how, I am not seeking to build my own kingdom or exalt myself.  I am utterly dependent and have no confidence in my flesh, my talent, my platform.  

I've mentally autopsied this whole awful  experience.  I have no idea what happened but I'm unbelievably humbled by it, devastated actually.  But as much as I'd like to run a bubble bath and lay there and cry, I don't think that would solve anything.  Besides I have another session to get the group through tonight.  (I'm not teaching) Whew!  It's incredibly ironic that part of our lesson today was about Jesus feeding the 5,000 with just a little poor boy's lunch.  All I ask of Him is that He take my little offering and use it to feed these gals I love... even now He's whispering that I have a lifetime left to do just that.  That He can bless it and make something useful out of my lack.

What do you do when your best, non-self-seeking effort falls short of even mediocre?  Any leaders or speakers out there have any insight?  I've felt the utter exhilaration of the falling of a supernatural movement of the Holy Spirit as I've spoken.    Today I felt like my words fell like lead and never struck the mark.  I was hoping the floor would open and swallow me up.  It's a sickening feeling.  I hope I get another chance.  If you were there today, I'm sorry.  

Do you really mean "Deeper"?

As a Bible teacher, ministry head, Pastor's wife and church member, I've heard the same phrase stated different ways several times over the years.  Each and every time I inwardly cringe.  I have to remind myself not to take it personal.  But, Today I want to talk about it, and if possible expose some of the meaning behind it and propose some ways of meeting the needs expressed by it.

The phrase can be stated many ways but pretty much means the same thing.  Here's how it sometimes goes:

* " I just need to go deeper."

* " I'm just not being fed."

*  "I'm hungry for some meatier teachings."

*  "I need a teacher who really makes me dig."

People who say this probably  simply mean that they are growing in their walk and God has put a deep hunger for spiritual food in their hearts and that they are desperate to learn and apply the scriptures.   But sometimes they mean to give their leaders and teachers a back door criticism.  The implication is that the teaching they are currently getting is deficient, shallow, or even compromised with worldliness.  Sometimes they want to be intellectually stimulated, to feel spiritually elite, to delve into philosophical controversies  or ideological arguments, and theological rhetoric.  These side issues can detract from the basic principals of scripture, the simplicity of the gospel, and the true application of the Word.  Jesus Himself had detractors such as these and he stated in John 4:34 that doing God's will is the true essence of "Meat",  not word studies or greek texts.  

My advice to folks who feel they need more, deeper or greater mysteries of God is to learn to feed yourselves, go deep as you want privately.  Take what you learn  and bring others along.  Share the gospel.  Actual knowledge of God leads to loving Him more, looking more like Jesus and loving others sacrificially.

The truth is that the scriptures contain unfathomable depths.  The more you explore it, the more you see you have yet to discover.  The Word is living, active and useful for daily living.  So yes, we must go deep...and wide.  

We must go broad brush as we take in the whole counsel of God.  This includes reading the entirety of the scripture through and large chunks.  For me this year I'm doing the read the Bible through in 90 days plan.  I may do it more than once.  This gives me a  sweeping view of history and God's eternal plan down through the ages.  But this wide view is not enough.

We must also go deep into very specific studies of scripture, small bits at a time to extract every tidbit of truth it contains and then apply it ruthlessly to our lives, giving no room for careless living or disobedience.  This involves getting into a bible study that is focused on a smaller section of the word.  By the way, we must never expect a pastor to feed you enough of the word in one hour on Sunday to sustain and grow you to spiritual maturity.  This is where you must feed yourself and get yourself into a small group.  

Whether you are hearing a simple Gospel story in a 5 year old sunday school room or a lecture of the book of Romans from a seminary scholar,  the impact of the Word comes at the point of application, where truth and human life intersect.  So innovative, conversational, highly illustrated messages may not appeal to the urge to be elite or special , but they impact behavior greatly.  Find a church, teacher or pastor whose teachings are scriptural AND applicable and "deeper" is the only way you can go.  The Holy Spirit guarantees it.

I'll close the blog today with a little teaching chart I based from Psalm 119:1-16.  It describes the different attitudes a believer should have as they seek God through the Word as well as the different types of teaching contained in the precious scriptures.  As we launch out into a new year together, may we meet our Savior in His Word and may we leave every possible agenda aside other than knowing God and applying His word and Glorifying His Name!

Psalm 119:1-16

Scripture type                                                           Our Response

v. 1- Law                                                                      Walk  according to it

v.2-  Testimonies                                                    Observe, Seek whole-heartedly

v. 3-  Ways                                                                  Walk righteously by it

v. 4-  Precepts                                                           Keep diligently

v. 5-  Statutes                                                           Established and kept 

v. 6-  Commandments                                          Look upon, keep unashamed

v. 7-  Righteous Judgements                             Learn with thankfulness

v. 9-  Word                                                               Keep way pure

v. 10- Commands                                                  Seek with all my heart

v.11-  Words                                                             Treasure in order to avoid sin

v. 12-  Teachings                                                    Bless God

v. 13-  Ordinances                                                  Tell of with my lips

v.14-  Testimonies                                                 Rejoice in

v.15-  Ways and Precepts                                    Meditate on and regard as right

v. 16-  Statutes                                                        Delight in and not forget

So, let's crave the meat!  But let's also humbly receive Biblical teaching that is not compromised  yet is  innovative, captivating, applicable and seeks to draw the lost.   Jesus taught like that.  If we follow His lead we will be deep and wide and our nets will always be full of a great harvest.  And He will get the glory, not tickle our egos with how "deep" we are.   The depths of the Scriptures is inexhaustible and we have eternity to plumb its fathoms, but only this life to make Him known to all the world in the simplicity of the Gospel for all.  

Is the Bible Sexist?

One of the big issues young modern women have with Christianity and Church Culture is a false perception that the Scriptures teach sexist practices.  The very idea of being asked to "submit" to a man simply because he is male is offensive to their personal dignity.  The real  reason they have a problem with submission in the true form taught by the Bible is that they don't understand it, or they think it is dependent on their husband's ability to be "respect" worthy.  But the subject of submission is a blog for another day...

Today  I want to explore another controversial text, penned by the Apostle Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.  Many times I've heard a women say, "I just can't embrace a belief system that tells a woman she has to be silent in church and can't have authority over a man."   The verse they are usually referring to is:

I Timothy 2:12-14 " But I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.  For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.  And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression."

Paul is not saying that a woman is not allowed to speak when at church.  He is responding to a cultural situation where women were not allowed to be educated.  He is saying that women should not presume to teach anyone until they have learned.  If the intent was to keep women completely silent Paul would not have given instructions for them on how to be orderly when "praying or prophesying"  I Corinthians 11:5.  

Paul goes on to refer to Eve's creation and deception.  He does this to emphasize how important it is for both men and women to be involved in learning and studying and growing in knowledge.  In fact, Paul is not blaming Eve's role in The Fall here.  Instead, he is condemning the men for excluding women from learning and for a lack of leadership that leaves women vulnerable to deception.  Adam was responsible for  failing to protect Eve and so would these jewish men be if they continue to exclude women from learning and growing in their faith.  

One side note, In Ephesus where Timothy was pastoring, there was a pagan goddess named Artemis.  She was widely worshipped and many believers were being saved from this culture and coming into the church.  Worship of this goddess was done through an all-female priesthood. All authority was female.  Many of their  pagan practices there were denigrating to women such as prostitution and sex slavery.  Paul was merely emphasizing that in the Christian church women were free, equal and honored.  But that they would fill different roles and would need to do so in an orderly way and with great discipline toward learning and growing.  

Rather than degrading women, this scripture is showing great concern that both men and women be given equal opportunities to learn and grow and to fill their roles in the church.  And, this is to be done in mutual submission to one another.  (Ephesians 5:21)  Of course there are other scriptures that teach Pastoral authority and define certain offices in the church, as in the home, as being designed by God to be filled by a male.  I see no way of explaining that to a hard-core feminist that would make her OK with it.  All I can say is that God's plan for the church is one of grace, order, freedom and safety.  In order to have that anywhere, in any culture, there must be structure and role definition.  Our creator designed men and women in His image but has wired us to certain roles.  Men: to lead, protect, provide, and love.  Women: to help, nurture, respond, and respect.  When we remember these roles and do it all under the authority of God, the head of all, we all win.  

I think Paul understood and foresaw some of this controversy over gender equality in the church.  As he closed his letter to the young pastor Timothy he said,

"Guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called 'knowledge' - which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith."  I Timothy 6:20-21

You won't find me shrinking in a corner at my church.  But, I reject the idea that feminists are more intellectual and culturally refined than women who hold to a Biblical model for womanhood.  I cherish the opportunity to learn and grow and share what I'm learning with other women.  I love being a leader in my church under the authority of the Pastors and my husband.  We have plenty of great men who are wise and gifted leaders.  They are very capable of teaching the men, they don't need me or any other women to do it.  I'm so thankful for our pastors and leaders who show us the way to live and make sure women in the church can experience the liberating freedom of knowing God and living out His plan for our lives.  What do you think?  IS the Bible sexist?  Or do we just fail to see its meaning sometimes?

The Gathering

Oh, what a glorious time we all had together at our Women's event "The Gathering".  We rocked a terrific effort on the whole country theme.  The 100 table hosts and 50+ special events team members made it a night of over-the-top fun.  It was incredible to welcome over 800 women to our church to participate in our get-together for the women in western North Carolina to experience: Vision, Unity, and Inspiration.  I loved speaking and sharing my heart on the subject of Influence.   I pray that as we reflect on what God spoke that night we can seek new ways to grow in Humility, servanthood, and leadership.  Because, that is the way to leverage our influence to elevate Christ.  I am so proud of all the gals and guys who helped make this night possible.  Some of the fruit, besides all the fun, is that we had 2 professions of faith, and dozens of women rededicating their lives to loving God and living for Him.  This gives new meaning to the theme of "Harvest".  I'm so blessed to work with the ladies of Biltmore Baptist Church.  I look forward to years of serving the Lord with you as we reach out to our community in Love.  Have a look at some photos of this incredible evening:

 

The Decorating team really went all out on the lobby!  We had an entire western town out there and a huge welcome for all the ladies as they entered.

Handsome men on horseback were greeters in the parking lot as the women gathered to enter the building.  Ropers and wagons and tractors and horses really set the mood for what was to come.

Inside was a sea of beauty from the tables and of course the lovely ladies that joined for Cobbler and ice cream and other delicious snacks prepared for them.

The night will always be memorable to me.  How glorious it was to sing praises to God as a group and worship Him together!

I even found some cowgirl boots and a western shirt to wear for the occasion.  Not a fan of myself on that big screen though.  I love sharing my heart with other ladies.  Thanks for letting me!

These dear ladies worked so hard on this event.  Audra Gillespie was our table hostess coordinator, Candace Blanchard was decorations and set up, and our sweet little Raquel Hustad was the Special Events Team Leader.  Raquel has been working on this event since last May!!! Thank you ladies.  You did a great job!

The gals really got into costume for the theme!  These lovely ladies were all smiles.

Each Table had a hostess to decorate and serve.  The tables were country, harvest, western, Fall, county fair, and everything in between.  Each was so lovely and original.  Of course, we told them to keep it simple.  I can't imaging how elaborate they would have been if we had told them to be fancy!

We had a Women's Expo set up for the ladies to get acquainted with all the Women's ministries they could be involved in here at Biltmore.  Here is Mariko at the Smart Girls ministry table.

Brundi Crawford is officially our Publicity and advertising Team Leader but as you can see she thrives on Events like this.  Honestly without the countless hours she put in serving, this event would never have gone so smoothly.  She and Sandra were also the funniest, silliest, greatest emcees for the night we could have ever asked for.  Thanks to all the businesses who contributed the amazing door prizes too.   And thank you Coal Mountain Cloggers for keeping us entertained. Wow!

Our worship was just Heavenly thanks to Susanna Kirksey and her team.  The band and all the technical aspects were flawless.  Thanks Biltmore Worship office and leaders.

We even had a few bad Ombres in the lobby to keep things authentic.  Smile!  Those are water guns.

Every western town need a sweet lovable sheriff to keep the peace and make you feel safe.  Relax!
Gene has us all covered.  Thanks for all the heavy lifting too during the cleanup guys.  The men's singles really showed up strong to help us put all this away.  I can't wait for next year!  We are planning a "Pink Pajama Party"!  The Gathering will always be a great way to bring the ladies of our church and our community together to focus on our calling and our mission.  I'm thinking the Pajama party theme would be perfect for a focus on friendship.  Thanks for stopping by the blog today.  Ya'll come back now, y'hear?

I'm A Peeker

I have a secret and I have confessed it to a few trusted friends.  I was relieved to know that among other preacher's wives this is a common condition.  I'm a peeker.  Anytime I'm in church or any type of christian gathering at which my husband is the speaker, I peek at the response to the invitation.  We've all heard the "every head bowed and every eye closed" admonition.  But when he asks those who want to trust Christ as their savior, or have a need, to raise their hand, I peek.  I peek at the precious ones who come to the altar or to the pastors in the aisles.   Most of the time I want to be ready to counsel ladies if needed.  But sometimes I just want to take in the scene of God's people doing business with God.  Our invitations are never to "walk the aisle".  My husband invites us to
make a life changing decision whether we leave our seats or not.  But as the helper of the Pastor, I want to see the fruit we've been praying for being  harvested.  This past Sunday, I was singing during the invitation on the platform and had a great view for my peeking.  My heart was overcome with utter and completely overflowing love for the people God has given us to lead and shepherd.  I saw them coming, almost running to the altar to pray and commit their homes to God.  They started streaming down the aisles even before the invitation was officially extended to come.  I cherished this moment in my heart, and still do.  In the midst of doing my own prayer for my kids, I blessed God and thanked him for bringing us to a people who want to be led and want to obey the Lord.  This group,  from the morning services to the evening one are such a joy to me.  They are unified with the call to reach our city and our world.  They are not complainers but instead will do whatever it takes to be the hands and feet of Jesus to their families and their town.  I think that culture of responsiveness to leadership is a rare and precious blessing on our church.  I love to serve them, and to pray for them, and to peek at their time with God.  I never fail to feel like the most blessed of Pastor's wives.  I hope they know how much I love them.  I hope they know.   

WAACS and WAVES

Have you ever just repeated a phrase you grew up hearing but never really understood?  I have.  One that came up this week was related to some projects I am involved in with the women of my church. I'm thinking of a phrase my feisty red-headed grand-mother, Miriam, or Nanny Masters to me, would say.  She would say this phrase whenever she would hear about a women or girl who did something remarkable.  Basically, she would blurt this out to me in an expression of "girl power" pride.  I admired her spunk and team spirit on these occasions but at the time I thought she was just cute and funny.  The phrase I heard was, " The whacks and ways are winning the war".   What she actually said was, "The Waacs and the Waves are winning the war."  I had no idea what the origin of the phrase was. Either way, I knew she meant to say "Woohoo! There's a women making a difference."  

This week I happened to read the actual history of the Women's auxiliary army corps (WAACS) and the Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency (WAVES) from the WWII era.  I was blown away by their bravery, sacrifice, team spirit, and whatever it takes attitude.  Now I completely understood why my Nanny would say that.  She meant, " There's a gal who is doing something about a need. Go get'em girlfriend!".  Which is odd because at the time I did not place the high value on her career of being a pastor's wife and mother of boys.  Now I do, since I'm now living both of those roles. ( And finding them a challenge and privilege every day. ) I should have said that phrase to her!     

Right now I have the fun and challenging role of stepping in as Interim director of Women's ministries at my church.  Through this capacity I'm being stretched as a leader.  But I'm also getting to see a side of ministry I've never seen and I find it exhilarating.  I am seeing women of all ages and backgrounds, rich and poor, married and single, working and stay-at-home, kids and no-kids working together.  Women are championing causes like mentoring, orphan care, bible study, support groups, girls ministry, senior care, and on and on.  Women are making a difference for good and for God.  I'm in awe of them.  I feel unworthy to lead them.  But I know that with them, we can win the war!  

I'm so excited about an event we are planning for the fall.  It is for all the women of our area to come together.  I know that it is of God and that He has a word for all of us that night.  Tickets are flying out the door.  It is just another way God is affirming to me that He is able to accomplish the mission and I am just the vessel. So, Nanny, I agree!  " The WAACS and the WAVES are winning the war"!  I get it now.  And to all the ladies getting it done at home, at work and in your sphere of influence I say "You go girl"!  I can't wait for "The Gathering"  Hope you can come! 

The Gathering from Biltmore Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Broken Pieces

As you know, I love Fall!  So when I woke up and felt that cool crisp air this morning I knew it was time for the pink peonies wreath on my front door to make its way back into storage.  So, I dug out all my fall decor from the crates in the garage.  My collection is full of cheap but very loved decorations from Walmart, the dollar store, and craft stores.  But I do (did) have one collection of ceramic pumpkins from a local boutique.  I love the glaze on them, I love their shape, I love their size.  But I dropped the big one... and it broke into pieces.  

I went ahead and decorated with what I had left.  But, the joy of the moment was shrouded with the blues.

I plan to get some glue that works for pottery and see if I can fit the bigger pieces back together.

Right now its on a bookshelf with the broken side turned to the back so it doesn't show.

But when I stepped back to look at my little collection of odds and ends..I started thinking.

How often do I just roll right on with my agenda, my plan, my life, when broken places are revealed.

Here are the two other pumpkins in the set.  They are useful, beautiful, and put together. But the Lord Jesus was a master at taking the ones off the shelf, with gaping wounds and destroyed possibilities, and making them whole again.  How often I forget that's how He found me?  I was the women at the well trying to fill myself up with things that could never satisfy.  I was the tired and sick lady who just knew if I could touch the hem of His garment I could be healthy again.  I was the busy, cranky, harried sister who didn't have time to sit at His feet for trying to earn His approval.  But, He put me back together with the glue of His transforming love.  I carry the scars of my broken life but I'm useful to the kingdom now.  I have a destiny and the joy that comes with it.  Do you know someone who has been dropped by life?  Do you know someone who is on the shelf with the scars turned to the back so no one sees?  I know I do.  I want to decorate my world with trophies of grace, cracks and all.  I want to be the one who says, "you can be whole again.".  I want to be a restorer who brings the ugly truth of sin out in the open and exposes it to grace.  Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful for they will receive mercy."  Our world needs us to show mercy on those who have lost their value because of the damage of life on this fallen planet.  Now that's a refreshing breeze and my windows aren't even open on this lovely fall day!  I'm on the lookout for a precious "pumpkin"  who needs some glue just like me.  Thank you Jesus!

  

  

My Hands

 This photo of me worshipping was taken at a Pastor's conference.  When the slide was shown, a lady behind me, not knowing it was me, laughed and said it looked like someone was flagging in a plane.  All I know is that I was having a moment with God and I did not care what I looked like.  All that mattered to me was that Jesus was magnified.  That's all that mattered even though I was the only one in the room raising my hands. I know I was not the only one who was worshipping.  I was shoulder to shoulder with some of the godliest men and women in america.  It was a conference for Pastor's of mega-churches.  The Spirit was there.  I just expressed myself differently.  

This is my friend, Amanda.  She helps  lead worship at our church.  She is a hand lifter too.  Beautiful.  I'm so blessed to be in a church that welcomes all biblical expressions of worship.  Clapping, shouting, playing instruments, bowing down...etc.  I've been thinking a lot, even teaching a Bible study, about lifting holy hands and all that it means to a worshipper.

These are some of our students in their own worship service.  They are freely expressing their love and adoration to God.  But it's important to me that we lift our hand with intentionality and full understanding of what we are doing.  We need to embrace the lyric and spirit of the song and use our body movements in tandem with the truth being expressed, not just habitually or emotionally.  So what does the act of lifting a holy hand actually mean?  What does it say?  In Psalm 63:4 we read, " I will bless Thee as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Thy Name." It says that lifting hands in The Lord's Name is an acceptable form of worship.  Even one that is desired by God.

1.   Our hands can be folded in reverence and fervor, placed over our hearts in ardent love, beating our breasts in repentance, or outspread in soaring freedom.  But the worship posture spoken of most often in scripture is with the hands lifted.  So I began to think about all the things a lifted hand could express.  I found there were many:  
2. 
   
3. 1.  To receive-  just as you would accept a gift we can lift our hand to receive in faith what we are asking for.  We sing "Come thou fount of every blessing"  and lift our hands in faith as He invades our lives.
4. 2.  In awe- I can't sing "Our God is a consuming fire" without experiencing awe at His terrible holiness.
5. 3.  In surrender- a song that is giving wings to my prayers right now says, "I lift my hands open wide, let the whole world see how You loved how You died how You set me free.  Free at last I surrender all I am with Open hands, with open hands."  Of course, my hands need to be open to sing that one.
6. 4.  To testify-  When we are sworn in in court we raise our hands to say that what we will say it the truth.  We can lift our hands in worship when our spirits bear witness to the truth either spoken or sung.
7. 5.  To Volunteer-  A raised hand in a group means "I'll do it".  We can raise a hand in God's presence when we sing words like "Yes, Lord"  or "Here am I" or "Let it begin in me".
8. 6.  To Magnify-  Exalting the Name of Jesus is the essence of worship.  We can lift our hands to make much of Him.  "We lift Him Up"  can be acted out with joyful worshipping hands.
9. 7.  To reflect-  I often imagine my hands are made of glass and can reflect glory as God shines down on me.  I want the glory to bounce off me and radiate His majesty.  "Holy, Holy, Holy"  is one lyric that will last for eternity in Heaven, Revelation 4.

There are so many ways our hands can bless God.  We can hold a baby, cook a meal, rub our husband's tired back, and give an offering with our hands.  All of these things can be an act of worship done in Jesus' name.   " Therefore, I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension."  I Timothy 2:8   

 
 

   

Two for the Price of One

Last Saturday morning I was privileged to welcome the Pastors' wives of Biltmore Baptist Church to our home for a diaper shower for three special women of our group who are expecting babies.  As the Senior pastor's wife it is my great honor to spend time with these gifted, beautiful, godly women.  I love them like daughters and their husbands like sons.  We had a terrific time.  And, as you can see from these few photos we ate very well.  

We always have such fun together and our time is always so edifying for me.  My heart is so tender toward them because I've been in their shoes as a staff wife before and because we share a bond that non-ministry wives can't understand.  Plus, they are just fascinating and others oriented which makes them incredible friends.  

Our meetings are NEVER pity parties.  We laugh and tease and play together.  But each time we get together, I come home and beg God to send them His special grace because I know their lives contain a special set of challenges.  On this Saturday evening I'm mindful of the extra duty they pull every Sunday.  They all have successful ministries, within the church, of their own.  They teach, lead worship, direct classes and serve.  Yet, each week, they make the trek to church alone with their children who they fed, dressed and prepared spiritually, alone.  They sit in services alone.  They mingle in the lobby alone because, basically, they have come to their husbands place of work.  Everyone needs their husband to make "church" happen.  They share their husband with the masses every Easter, and Christmas eve.  They wait up in prayer every time their husband is called away to an emergency in the middle of the night.
And they are very good at keeping dinner warm because someone needed hubby to do just "one quick thing" before heading home at night.  

All this being said, these are the most joyful, grateful, guileless, tender-hearted women I know.  They glow with the fulfillment of one who is approved by God.  They are raising obedient, christ following children who have a ministry mindset of their own.  They give themselves and their rights away every day for the flocks they serve, with delight.  They are achieving great things in their own rights, yet are the cheerleaders that encourage their husbands to great kingdom victories every day.  I am in awe of them.  I also consider it my duty under God to be their biggest fan and biggest prayer warrior.   

If you are a ministry wife, blessed are you among women.  I believe there is no greater life on earth.  If you are a ministry wife, you have a unique set of challenges to face.  But the rewards far surpass the sacrifice.  For us, these little get-togethers bring us closer and leave us feeling less isolated by ministry life.  We feel we've been gifted to serve the body of Christ in a special way.  I cherish the ladies i serve with and relish our friendships.  I feel that I Peter  4:10 could have been written just for us:  "Each one has received a gift.  Minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."

 

Any Church that has pastors wives who take their role seriously and love it are doubly blessed.  They really do get two for the price of one!